Butt rubs at Mass

Today I went to the Azande/ Zande mass.
Usually I go to the English mass early in the morning. But today I wanted to see all the excitement and what everyone is talking about.
It was spectacular!!!!!!!
Preteen girls in the middle aisle, dancing with every song. A full choir of about 50 singing with enthusiasm, swaying and clapping with each song.
All of us packed like sardines in this small church.
It was cooler today about 90 degrees Fahrenheit.
Everyone paying attention even the children. It is amazing.
I was sitting in the middle bench as I usually do for English mass and one of the Attendants (every one has a job) came up to me and told me to follow him. OK.
So I did and he had me sit up front near the altar. Which was fine because the big door is up front so more breeze.
Then the church became really full a few minutes before it started.
A little old lady about 90, bent over walking with a stick, weighing about 70 pounds wanted to sit behind me. She brought her own little chair which was maybe 12 inches off the ground. She sat right behind me.
When it was time to sit down for the first reading I feel something rubbing my buttocks. I thought could it be a bug?
No, it was not.
It was the old lady rubbing my behind. So I kind of pretended that it was a bug and brushed her hands away.
Nope. That did not do the trick. She continued to rub my butt.
Then when I stood up, I tried to move the 3 inches to the left that was empty space between me and the person standing next to me.
Nope. She keeps rubbing and now squeezing.
Nobody thinks this is strange.
Everyone is ignoring this.
OK.
I turn and smile at her and try hold her hands.
Why did I do that?
She then squeezes my breasts one at a time.
So when I ask the younger lady beside me what is the old lady saying?
She says, She is asking you how you became to big and beautiful?
OK So thanks for the beautiful part......
I think........
The rest of the mass I would feel an occasional buttock rub.
I guess when you are 90, you can rub someone's butt during mass.
It was an amazing mass and not just because someone was rubbing my butt the whole time.
These people really know how to celebrate the mystery of Christ.
Real community.
Real worship.
Real butt rubs.