Healing Hands of a Child!

I wanted to share with you something so beautiful that happened to me the other day. I was walking home from church and I was feeling a little sad for a personal reason.
Of course as usual many children run from their homes and yards or compounds as they are called here just to greet me and shake my hand. Some of the children hug me.
This of course makes me as it would anyone feel like a million dollars and like a very special person. One little girl who normally hugs me, grabbed my face in between her hands and caressed my face and then rubbed my hair.
Everyone that knows me knows I LOVE IT when people caress my face and my hair. I think I love this because when I was little if I got a chance to lay down beside my Mother, which was not often because she was busy or breastfeeding babies, she would caress my face and my hair. Also even when I was in Residency, I would come home and lay in the bed in between my Mother and Father and my Dad would caress my face and hair.
Who am I kidding, even before I left Boston, I would sometimes lay on my parents bed and they would caress my face and hair. What a gift!!!!!
I felt like God gave me a special gift. He allowed this little girl to allow me to feel the caring and love of my parents.
Truly the Kingdom of God is like these little ones.
Thank you God and beautiful little Girl...

So inadequate!!!!

I am so inadequate!!!!!
I am NOT a Urologist or an Oncologist nor is there ANY in this entire country.
This week I had a patient sent to me from Nzara, which is the city 4 hours away where I was evacuated to when there was the insecurity. The Comboni nun Dr Sara sent her to me. She suspected the woman had cervical cancer as she had a fungating mass from her cervix in her vagina.
When I examined the women this was the case indeed. So I am here alone. I am the ONLY Gynecology Surgeon in this city, in this county, in this state and in this region!!!! So I felt I should operate and debulk (take away) as much of the cancer as we can. So with the brilliant Gynecology Oncology Attending's voices of my training in my mind, I went ahead and removed as much as we could. We removed her uterus, her Fallopian tubes, her ovaries, and the top portion of the vagina where the mass was attached.
The patient did very well. Sadly of course there was a piece of cancer stuck over an important artery and I did not remove it as it would cause her to bleed to death.
Thank you Dr Larry Puls, Dr Richard Boulay, Dr. Martin Martino for your amazing training and guidance during my residency.
You really helped this woman through me.
Although of course her 5 year survival rate is not good. We have no chemo or radiation therapy in this entire country!!!
These are very poor people who can't afford to go to neighboring Uganda for medical treatment.
Then I was sent a 20 year old woman from a closer neighboring village who has a very disturbing story. She was "given" by her older sister at the age of 14 to an old man who got her pregnant and she had a baby. I am told because she was very young and very small the baby got "stuck" inside her and died. Then the person at the health facility proceeded to pull the baby out and DISLOCATED HER HIP AND BROKE IT.  As a result this poor woman literally walks bent over and can NEVER straighten her leg. She was so traumatized by this experience that she would not allow an exam. She now pours urine from her vagina.
When I performed an exam under anesthesia, I could NOT believe what I was seeing. Her urethra is completely scarred closed. Her bladder is wide open into the very scarred vagina. Her introitus is open to the rectum only the rectal mucosa  is intact. Her vagina is scarred closed at about 3 cm into the vagina!!!
What a mess!!!!
I could not even get the smallest dilator into the urethra. It is scarred completely closed.
The SAD part is everyone thinks I can work miracles and were so happy when we were leaving the Operating Theater and I had to explain that I did nothing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help her.
How disappointed I was. Although her family was not because they think that I will some how be able to help her!!!!
This young woman makes me want to cry, as every day when I see her she is beaming smiling as though I am the greatest person ever. Little does she know that I am so inadequate. I greet her and hug her which is a big deal because NO ONE touches her as her fistula causes her to constantly leak urine. She smells of urine as well. But I DO NOT CARE. I want her to feel the love of a human being for once in her little sad life. I sit on her bed and hold her hand and tell her how today she looks "smart" which is their way of saying beautiful. I tell her I LOVE her.
How can good things happen to "bad" people and bad things happen to good people? Dr Martin Martino once said this to a patient with Ovarian cancer who after adopting 3 child from Korea found out she had metastasis to her brain. Thank you for that lesson Dr Martino.
Please God help me, help these beautiful women of South Sudan whom I love through my inadequacies.
Pray for me and please pray for these women who are dismissed by the world, by society, by their own families. The "unseen" people. The "invisible" people.
I SEE them, they are NOT invisible to me. I love them dearly and fiercely.

I found it!!!!!

I have found the kindest person EVER!!!
I have found the most Christ like person EVER!!!!
So my entire life I always considered the nicest people in the world to be my family.
And Father Manny a Redemptorist missionary priest from New York in the Dominican Republic.
But now they have competition.
This person is consistently and with all people the kindest, most generous person I have ever met.
He treats the Bishop and the naked little boy that comes to daily mass with the same respect, kindness and compassion. No pretension, so humble. It is so difficult as human beings to treat "important" people and the "untouchables" the same. Usually we are impressed with the first and treat them better.
He is what Jesus must have been like in the human form.
This young man makes sure every day I have eaten lunch and supper. He also makes sure every one in the parish eats as well.
He serves people as if they were Jesus.
He is constantly laughing, smiling. Always joyful. But serious when he needs to be.
I have seen people mistreat him and he stays quiet and accepts it.
Wow!!!!
I think more people would desire to be Catholic/ Christian if he was around. More young men would want to become priests if he was their example.
He has had to suffer greatly to become a priest. Because of the war here in Sudan/ South Sudan he has had to flee to Central Africa to study in the seminary. He walked from South Sudan to Central Africa back and forth every year. He had to be undercover studying in Khartoum (the capitol of Sudan). He had to leave his homeland and study in Uganda theology.
This man is amazing. I am in AWE of him.
He really makes me feel like I need to be a better, more consistent, more generous, more giving person.
He is the new Deacon at my Parish awaiting ordination to the Priesthood, Deacon Natale Vairi III. His name in Natale (Christmas) because he was born on December 25th. Truly Jesus was reborn in this young man.
Please help me to pray for him, for his vocation, for his precious life.
You are all welcome to South Sudan to meet the most compassionate person I have EVER met!!!! He will certainly feed you!!!
I praise the Lord for these Brothers and Sisters through out the world that live and die giving testimony of the Good News of Jesus Christ.
Who came as we were reminded in today's gospel the feast of St. Matthew for the sick and sinners.
Thank you God for Deacon Vairi III!!!!!

People die on my ONLY Day off!!

So since I left Boston on April 4th, I have not had a day off. I have been working every day and on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Loving EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!
Since I arrived there have been ZERO maternal deaths. Thank God. Praise be Jesus!!!!!
Last week I was invited by the Parish Priest of the largest parish in the Capital city (Yambio) of this state (Western Equatorial) to come for the First Anniversary of the Late Bishop Gasi to give a day of reflection/talk/preaching for the people.
He said he would send a truck to come and pick me up and I would be staying at the new Bishop's house and taking meals with the Bishop!!! (Bishop Eduardo Hiiboro Kussala of the Tombura-Yambio diocese)
So I said, "YES!!" Of course after asking permission from my CMMB person. Who said I could have Friday and Monday off.
I had a wonderful time. My talks were on Friday. I spoke about Faith, Sacraments specifically Eucharist then the last talk was on Marriage and Family.
What a great day!!! One of the priests was my interpreter. He did a fantastic job.
The weekend was amazing!!!! Adoration all night long, Praise singing, dancing, Healing prayers.
Meeting the Bishop was an honor. He is a champion in this region of Africa for peace. He has written a very interesting book (which he gave me a copy and I read) on Peace and Reconciliation. He travels all over the region to promote peace in South Sudan and in Africa in General.
What an amazing, interesting, humble man!! Who by the way is walking the walk, not just talking the talk. He has lived in Refugee camps and Internal Displaced Persons Camps to help with Peace and Reconciliation.
He is brilliant, fascinating and I thank God I had the opportunity to meet him.
So on Monday, the Bishop assigned one of the Deacons to take me around Yambio. This Deacon is the one assigned to my parish in Ezo and he is a wonderful friend and brother to me. He is the subject of my next blog.
As we are going around, I receive a call from the Hospital in Ezo that there is a woman at the hospital who needs a Cesarean Section but has a dead baby.
So I am 5 hours drive away. (on a good day)
To make a LONG and complicated story short, the Theater attendant performed the surgery and when I arrived back on Tuesday, she died.
So I was DEVASTATED!!! I wanted to cry for taking time off.
If I had stayed in Ezo, she would probably be alive. Why did I leave for a long weekend?
The Maternal Mortality rate was ZERO the 5 months I have been here. Now for me one maternal death is 100%.
The worse part is that most people do not feel bad. Because they said that her Father placed a curse on her with Witch Craft and that is why she died.
What the heck??!!!!!
But I also must walk the walk after talking the talk. So forgiveness and reconciliation From God are in my heart. I want to live in peace in my soul.

IN ALL THINGS WE GIVE YOU THANKS ALMIGHTY GOD, YOU WHO LIVE AND REIGN FOREVER AND EVER. AMEN.

Twins and Women

Twins Galore!!!! Appreciate Women please!!!

Everyone that knows me knows that I absolutely love twins. They are my favorite!!! Twins are so cool. The genetics, the physiology, the science, behind twinning is fascinating to me.

Well we were blessed last month to have not one, not two, not three but FOUR sets of twins here in Ezo. What fun!!! 3 were delivered vaginally and one via C-section.  2 sets were both head down. One set was head down and breech and one set was breech and transverse presentation!!! How cool is that?!!!

The mothers laugh every time they see me because I get so excited to see ALL the twins!!! All during pregnancy these women were troopers. No complaints.  The babies are all so beautiful.

The one mother we performed a Cesarean Section on was because she had just had gone to the “city” of Yambio 10 months ago and delivered a baby via C-section and had a midline skin incision and I was worried because of uterine rupture. She also had the breech/transverse combination. Such close births. She was also 4 feet tall!!!!! She was at the end of her pregnancy wider that she was tall!!!! So cute though. No complaints from her even though I kept her in the hospital for almost 2 weeks before we did the surgery.

In Ezo, as in all of South Sudan and most countries, I feel that women are so underappreciated. These women do all the domestic work (which by the way is 10 times the work women do in USA at home), they harvest in the field, they take care of their families, find money for schooling for the children, they fetch water, they take care of their sick neighbors, they go to church and pray, they feed the homeless and beggars. They discipline their children. They teach their children to pray. They help the children with school work. Then they have to share their husbands with other wives. The husbands do not always give them money. A lot of husbands spend their money on themselves. I sincerely do not know why some of these women get married except for societal pressure. Most men’s contribution to their “family” is the donation of genetic material. It is surprising that the women do not revolt.

The interesting part about this is that ALL the men address me as “Doctor”. Most of the women though call me by my first name even though I always introduce myself as Doctor.  Or they call me “Sister” or my awesome Zande name “Zia Zia Toro” which means “Holy Spirit”. So that part I do not get. But I think the men know I am a foreigner and maybe the women accept me more?

Well, any way I appreciate and really have such love in my heart for these women. They can call me anything. I know they love me so much. They care for me; they feed me (a big deal in my book).

GOD BLESS THE WOMEN OF EZO AND THE WORLD……

Walking Fetus!!!

The Baby is trying to walk outside!!!!!

Today as I was walking to the hospital after morning Mass, a young man on a motorcycle pulled up beside me. “Doctor, there is an emergency at the hospital. The baby is trying to walk outside.” I jumped on the motorcycle and without trying to even have this 16 year old boy explain to me what the heck he was talking about I went.

When I arrived at the hospital, I knew there was an emergency because tons of people are standing around. So I went inside and as per usual the volunteer community health worker is there ALONE with the mother who has both of her baby’s feet coming out of her vagina. The feet were swollen and blue. Not a good sign.

I ran to grab the ultrasound machine. The baby was still alive with a great heartbeat. Wonderful!!!! I am alone with this young community health worker. But this baby needs to come now!!! So I said, “Joseph, you are going to do surgery with me. Go to the Operating Theater and prepare for a Cesarean Section. Do not speak to anyone on the way and be quick. This baby is still alive.” (the reason why I said do not speak to anyone is that in this culture greeting others is very important and he would take 40 minutes to normally cross the yard to the Theater from the Delivery Room because of stopping and greeting people) He ran off.

I grabbed the gurney and commanded to young strong appearing men, “You come.” They came. They carried the woman to the Operating Theater. We grabbed a visitor who happens to be a nursing assistant in another village and he came as well.  Of course our Operating Theater with no electricity, no running water, no operating table (only an examining bed) only the grace of God to accompany us.

The baby was delivered via Cesarean section successfully but with great difficulty I might add. I remembered the words of one of my chief residents during residency. “You shred a uterus but you get that baby out. “ We did not shred the uterus but almost. Praise the Lord we got the baby out and mom and baby are Thank God doing well in Postpartum.

When I think about the situation, so dangerous but at the moment we do what needs to be done with the people and equipment we have. How can anyone in a Developed country ever complain? I am ashamed of all the times I complained about stupid little things in the hospital in the USA. We are so blessed in the USA. What an amazing country. What amazing people Americans are!!!

I also meditate that if I had not been here in Ezo, Western Equatorial, South Sudan today that baby would surely have died and later Mom would have also. What a privilege!!!!